Just a quickie. I guess I thought that when I got the prescription for the Welbutrin I’d be set. I guess I thought I’d take it and I’d be peachy and not have mood swings or be depressed but I am. I was depressed over the weekend to the point of getting all weepy. Today I’ve not wanted to do anything but hide and/or sleep. I forced myself to go to karate. I used Daddy’s “dissapointment” as an excuse to make myself go. I wanted so badly to stay home and bury my head in the covers. My head’s been hurting a lot to.
I had a good time at Tink’s but the depression was a bummer. I got a headache on Sunday and then felt horribly guilty when I found out that David was going to take me up on my wrestling gauntlet thrown over a year ago. 
Tat has been super sweet to me. We cuddled on one of Tink’s futons under the most comfy blanket you’ve ever been under in your life. She knew I was all weepy and she was really nice to me and we slept for a while. That was really nice. She is letting me come down Wednesday night and take her car home so I can go to my 8:45am counseling/med appt on Thursday morning. She’ll be coming here Thursday night and is taking off Friday. We have plans to either go to the beach or Six Flag’s. Tomorrow night I go to my first in person tarot reading. That money will help me be able to go with her on Friday.
I’m really hoping I come out of the mire cause it’s not been helpful for getting anything done nor has it helped me perform well for Daddy when he’s needed something. Then we are just in this big circle where I feel down, he asks me to do something and I do it poorly or it annoys him, and then I feel worse because I feel like such a loser. Make this stop…please.
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3 responses to “Blah”
woo hooo live Tarot… youre a big pro now ๐
good luck.
Hang in there.
Hi Kimiko:
i am enjoying your blog. Hope you keep at it and write more.
i felt moved to write to you because of what you said about the medication and hoping it would work and everything would be fine, etc.
You probably already know this, but it’s always a trial and error process. Must have patience with yourself (and the med) while you find out whether it works for you or not.
It’s more than a month later since you wrote the above entry, so i hope things are going well for you.
Hi Kama! Thanks for writing. I love hearing that people read my blog. It does in fact encourage me to write more. I know I’ve kinda been falling down on the job on that part. ๐ Sometimes I feel like I have a billion things to say and sometimes it just won’t come out.
I’m doing pretty good right now but that seems to go up and down. I keep having panic attacks at random intervals and it’s way annoying but there isn’t much I can do right now. I have an appt next week and I’m hoping they may consider doing something about it.
Thanks again for the comment!
Kimi