Day 1…again…

“Hello, my name is Kimi and I have been fuck-up free for 0 days.”

I may talk about this or similar things in the future so lets lay out some definitions here real quick.

• Lv 1 – 5 : not really worth mentioning
• Lv 6 – required a discussion and I’m feeling pretty crappy
• Lv 8 – kill me now but it’s ok  (my tone needed correcting and I fell back on bad habits)
• Lv 9 – We really don’t want to be here cause 10’s just around the cornor…litterally.
• Lv 10 – Let’s just say if we’re here…my world has ended.

Ok..now that we got that settled..  We have to start over cause it was a Lv 6 day. It put a serious damper on the rest of my day. It’s funny how the rest of your life mimics things that are bothering you. I very rarely notice how disrespectful and rude the teens are at karate until I’ve had a period like this happen to me. I’m slowly growing to the point to where I don’t really care if they learn anymore. And I’d tell them that…except I don’t really think they’d care. What do they care if they have my disapproval?

I flashed on this mostly cause I had to mention to one of the girls that she needed to count louder when she insisted on letting me know that she WAS counting when I corrected her. I looked at her and Daddy’s words came out of my mouth. “It has to be easier to x….” In her case…count…if they don’t they have to do whatever it is…AGAIN.

This can’t really hold the same for me. Let’s take an example. You’d think it would be easier for me to do my pushups at home…then to get Sensei’s dissapproval at Karate when I can’t do them all. And because I’m me…most the time it is easier to just do them at home. But what about the times when I can just shrug that off? Is it easier to do them then to just let him yell at me when I’m feeling pretty good about myself and don’t really let it bother me that he’s dissapointed? No…it’s easier to let him yell. So…self motivation again rears it’s head and goes “nanny nanny boo boo!” I mostly just wanted to point out this revelation.

Switching subjects for a second…I’ve started corresponding with a new friend who is a 24/7 sub like me. He doesn’t have many friends and I’m pretty happy that I can share my experiences with him. However, he mentioned something that caught me as interesting. Most the time when you speak to any male submissive, a common theme is their beliefe that simply by being allowed to serve them, they are privilaged. I don’t think the same thing can be said for female submissives. I’m not saying we don’t feel like being owned by or being able to serve our owners are a privilage. I just don’t think we think of it that way. We serve therefore we are. Males serve, and thus are rewarded with their owners attention in their life. What do you think?

Subject change. I started some online classes today. Considering Barnes and Noble hosts classes pretty much every two months…I could concievably have new things to study every 2 months. I like this because this may give me some purpose to the times when I know I have stuff to do, want to be doing something to better myself for Daddy, and can’t bring myself to think of what it is I should be doing. So…this months classes are:

• Forensics via Court TV
• Screenwritting
• Ebay (making tons of cash)

And for extra credit I’m hoping to piggy back on Daddy’s Maya Fundamentals Course (3d). Wish me luck…