For the second day in a row I’m awake and Daddy’s asleep. I feel somewhat bad about this because part of my job is to keep him company in those late night runs for the finish line. Sometimes part of me feels like I get more work done when he’s not in the room. Am I avoiding my job or is it the feeling of me working hard while he rests for a change that I’m grooving on?
I’m still tired and I could probably fall asleep as soon as my jitters go away but something about this makes me feel good and I’m not sure what it is. The gremlin has opinions but they are all negatively tainted. Or am I just wishfully hoping it’s not right? UG.รย (your opinions would be welcome)
Speaking of the ugly nasty beastie, I’ve done pretty well the last day ignoring the little f*cker. It’s voice isn’t quite so loud in my head. It’s loudest taunt is “Yeah well…you are just taking the drugs to hide from me…not to actually fix anything.” When it’s not shouting that little gem of “wisdom” it’s muttering in the background and pacing back and forth. I catch snippits here and there and I try not to let it notice I heard.
It’s weird, when I first read the book they ask you to imagine what your gremlin looks like. While it’s still this shadowy figure, I can “see” it’s reactions and actions. Like right now, I imagine it sticking it’s tongue out at me and waving it’s fingers in the air with it’s thumbs in it’s ears. LOL It makes me smile a little.
Anyway, the point to all that rambling is that I’ve been feeling a little better. A little more secure. A little more happy with my life. A little more like I’m worth something.