Ug…I’m awake and I don’t want to be. How come I have such a hard time sleeping when Daddy isn’t here. I can sleep like the dead when he is…but have him leave the house and I toss and turn.
Today was a crappy day. I fell head long into a serious funk. It amazes me how people in the bdsm community will come to me for help or advice, yet I am so devastatingly bad at it myself. I made another mistake again today. Mistake seems like the wrong word since it’s a repeated error.
It reminded me of a lot of things I don’t like hearing.
I had a terrible time motivating myself after Daddy left to go to Tats. Usually in a situation like this, I’m spurred on to clean like a fiend, workout, and get projects I’ve been putting off done. Tonight I just kinda sat infront of my machine and stared at it. That was a source of stress in and of itself. I kept trying to tell myself I’d let the rest slide until tomorrow if I’d just do ONE of the things I could/should do. In the end, I made sure the one thing I HAD to do was done and asked permission to start up again tomorrow….hopefully with a better attitude on life.
There is more I want to write but I don’t think I should. So I’ll end with this….being an adult, being strong, and getting through stressful difficult experiences is hard work and you should loose calories for doing it.