A while back when I was examining my self-esteem problem one of the books I got was called “The Six Pillars of Self Esteem” by Nathaniel Branden. I picked it up and put it down. I identified with some of the stuff he talked about. Truth is I need to start from the beginning.
Tat started reading it and we’re all gonna finish it. I’ll do that when she’s done with it. But since Daddy took her to the path this morning I was sitting around waiting for him to get back before I fall back into a coma for a bit. I picked up the book from where I left off and the section I am reading is on “living consciously”.
As many of us know…I am the queen of avoidance. I can avoid like no other. Amusing since I also can self anyalise really well to. (btw I”m too tired to worry about my spelling so deal with it :P) The section I started reading talks about how in order to live in things that may not be good for us (like drugs, toxic relationships, etc) we must first turn down our ability to “see” by use of other methods like avoidance. In the book’s example…you can later go “i should have known x would happen if I indulged in “pick a bad thing”.” But that at the time you are in those situations if you don’t live consciously it’s easy /not to see/. I do this all the time. It’s something I have to get over.
He recommends sitting down each morning for a few days and writing “If I bring a higher level of consciousness to “x” (my relationship, the way I act when I do x) I see that…” and just write ten things off the top of your head that you realize about that you can /see/ what you are usually attempting to avoid seeing. And that this can help you live life better as well as help your self-esteem. Keep in mind it’s possible to do this exercise and get good results. I did it for a few things in my life and at least 2 of them listed all happy things I would see if I only paid attention.
What I haven’t figured out (and maybe the book will get to it) is what you do when you do see but have a hard time accepting. When you see but you don’t /want/ to see and how you make changes in yourself to live better and to your potential. So…when I find out…if I find out…I’ll let you know.
This has been your daily revelation. You can now go back to whatever you were doing. Thanks for playing.