Category Archive
1,830 posts across 92 pages.
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Today Gino and I talked about Motivation. It seems to him and to just about everyone else in my life that my motivation slips the more praise that I recieve from say, Daddy. This is a problem and I’m not sure how to overcome it. I need to retain motivation even when I’m doing well so that I continue the cycle and therefore continue to achieve. Here’s a quick tarot reading I did before I head out to karate. I’ll ponder what it means later. You are welcome to have a go.
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1/3/05 8/8/05 Change Body Composition Body Fat 42.4136.33-6.08Weight169.00155.00-14.00Lean Body Mass 97.3398.691.36Fat Mass 71.6756.31-15.36 Additional Health Indicators Body Mass Index (BMI) 30.8628.31-2.55Waist To Hip Ratio (WHR) .21.21.00 Your Metabolism…
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Not a whole lot to report on. Doing pretty good on the Lexapro I think. Only had the barest moments of anxiety now and then. Daddy went to see Tat tonight. I worked out and have been doing my pushups in order to improve for the school. I kinda took a hit the other night in class cause I’m pretty much front and center of the class.
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I hate titles…LOL. How’s it going gang? I haven’t written in a while obviously. Daddy and I are getting ready to head out to meet Tat at Great Adventure. It’s gonna be a mellow day and I’m looking forward to it. Things are going ok. I finally got my Welbutrin in the mail. It came today. I saw the Dr and the therapist last Thursday. The Dr gave me Lexapro for my anxiety. I felt bad cause I had a serious attitude with both of them. I don’t know what happened…I was ok until I had to stop by the Charity Care office and then it all just went to hell.
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Hey gang. This is a quickie. I’m dead tired. I had a great overnight stay with Tat. The massage I got was heaven! Thanks to a friend for some help on that. Daddy is over tonight and will be there until Monday morning. I’ll be doing some work and then a little relaxation tomorrow.
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Waiting to go back to the Dentist in an hour. Was due at 9 but because I might have a chipped tooth and possible ear infection as a result I have to change the cleaning to xrays and whatever can fix the problem.
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I just started working out the best way to apply GTD. I’ve found that Outlook’s Task list is really useful once I configured it and learned how to work it. It took me a little while to figure out the best way to VIEW it but here’s what I came up with. Some varying may be helpful to you depending.
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Hey! Throwing something up because I didn’t want you guys to think I’d forgotten about posting. We saw Fantastic Four tonight and I really liked it. It helps that Jessica Alba is perfect and I had the hots for Chris Evans who played The Human Torch! For those of you who like cool movie trailers…these were too good to pass up. Transporter 2 and Ice Age 2
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You may notice (or not) a change in my header. I went from “illusive lucidity” to “it hurts to be beautiful”. I wanted to find something that summed up why I keep this site, like “if the collar fits” does for her site. It took me a while to come up with this and I’m not totally sure it says it all but it’s suppose to sum up that my main goals are to work hard on becoming a better person (in all aspects of my life) and that it’s usually not very easy for me to achieve this goal. That this blog is a result of me talking about those things and how I’m getting there, etc. It’s also something my mom always use to say to me when I complained about how much the tangle in my hair hurt while trying to get them out. Kinda like “suck it up and stop complaining”. So…there ya go.
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I asked the cards whether or not I would be able to overcome my motivational and learning issues. For those of you who like to interpret here’s what I got. I find it interesting I got so many court cards. That to me would signal how much I’ll be changing as I work through these issues.
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For someone who’s been sleeping most the day I am so tired. Fact of the matter is that I haven’t really been sleeping all day. I’ve been getting up almost every hour or every “x” amount of minutes to do things or check on Daddy. He had some pretty serious dental work done today and it didn’t agree with him at all.
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I ended up waking up at 5am this morning. Daddy, Tat, and I went to sleep about 3:30. About 5 I woke up and just couldn’t sleep. I knew I was going to end up waking up and tried to start thinking of productive things I could do. I had origionally got up thinking I’d write out my scenerios for GunBunny. As usual, I checked mail then went through the small list of blogs I read, Daddy’s being one of them. I found a link to 43 Folders on his site and starting looking through it. Interestingly enough, this sparked my “motivation” need and I spent a good 4 hours surfing through related sites and articles. The below is a list of things I think you all might find useful and that I want to keep track of so I can go make use of them.
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I know I haven’t written in a while. The last few days have been pretty stressful. Seems like I’ve messed up a lot. Some serious discussions, unhappy and stress-filled. Not much I can really share. Not much that really makes much sense when I’m in the middle of the moment. It’s sad and very scary. It’s incredibly possible I may have learned my lesson. If only just to bite my tongue and shut the fuck up.
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Cam’s back up. Site is back up. T was down for about 2 days so I was without mail, messangers, and coh! The humanity!!! LOL Was nice to catch up on a bit of sleep as well as get to spend a bit of time with Daddy. Time to get back to work. After I wake up anyway.
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Sorry I haven’t been writing a bunch lately gang. I don’t even know that it’s because I’ve been busy. I can’t think of that much I’ve been doing that’s out of the ordinary. Things have been ok. Daddy’s gotten a renewed interest in fitness and I’ve been helping him with a diet and schedule. Makes me want to offer that on Keen though I don’t know I’d get many takers. Tarot has been really good lately. Been doing a bunch of readings and making some decent cash.
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I’m having a serious case of “lack of motivation” today. I’m calm. I’m dealing well with things. I just have aboslutely not urge to do anything. I was going to sleep a little later…was even given permission to do so. But then he needed to tell me something and it didn’t seem appropriate to go back to sleep.
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Running, running, running. I feel like I’m at full speed or at least trying to be at full speed. I have to go to karate in about 20 mins to teach for the night. I’ve used up all my available credit for a while with getting out of it. I’m going to need to find motivation from somewhere to do my workout and take calls tonight rather then fuck around on COH. Maybe an hour or two of play but I can’t do it the whole night. That’s rare anyway, but my urge to do so goes up under duress.
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Not much to say. Having a hard time getting to sleep. Must of been that nap I took. I’m pretty much done with Atlas Shrugged. I have to go back and read the 40+ page oratory John gives at the end of the book. I skipped it to get to the end of the story. Not like I wasn’t pretty sure of what it contained anyway. 😛