I’m writing because Tat wanted me to. This is part of our world…some of what I have been keeping quiet. From everyone, though it leaks out in the worst ways. So to make some silliness up to her, part of what I’m doing is sharing this with you guys. She’s gonna take the rest of it out of my hide. \ud83d\ude42 Even now I’m wondering what could have possibly been on my mind. <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
This is new territory. Well I mean I’ve been in this relationship for 5 years. And I’ve done BDSM for 8 now…but this…Arcanum, Tat letting me see this side of her, the possibility of more between all of us…this is new. Like all new things…what you don’t know…scares you.<\/p>\n
Insecurity is not my friend, but it comes to visit all the damn time. I think… I hope these new changes will help me kick it the hell out. It’s ruined things in the past and among other things, I’m scared it will ruin things now. I watched Tat have a beautiful orgasm on cam. I knew Daddy was saying the nastiest things to her and I knew she was loving it. I was so happy for her. She came back to the cam and she was so happy…all smiles. I wanted to look as beautiful as she did. It was the beginning of my insecurity.<\/p>\n
I sat there knowing I was frowning…worried she’d look at my cam and feel bad. I’ve made her feel bad in the past for being happy and I didn’t want that to happen again. She deserves to be happy. Earlier today we’d talked about how we thought some of the problem of the past was that we didn’t talk. And I wondered if I should call her. Ask for her help. And I was afraid if I did, not only would Daddy be mad…but I would indeed do what I feared because then she “would” know.<\/p>\n
Obviously from what I’m writing, I did indeed call her. She sounded happy and then concerned about me. And I went on to tell her that I was sorry for calling. That I was being insecure and she had mentioned that us talking might help us. We talked for about 15 mins and she made me laugh, and she let me be silly, and she told me that it was all good. She wasn’t going back now that she was home! Then she told me I should write about this. Wasn’t that partly what this section was for, she said? At least if nothing else she wanted me to write an email to Daddy about it. I wanted to get out of it. I knew he’d be mad that I was bringing up “insecurity”. But I trust her and if she thought I should do it, I should do it.<\/p>\n
When I got back to my computer I messaged her. Already the very idea of being insecure seemed so stupid to me. I had a Daddy who’d gone out of his way to mention some of the neat ideas he had. I had a sister who promised to hurt me and make me cry and maybe even cum. Before Daddy went to call her he peeked at my machine and saw we were chatting. He smiled at what he read and I figured it was a decent lead in. I asked if he wanted to know what was going on. He asked if it was a good or a bad thing. I knew for him…it’d be bad. I knew for us…it led to good. He said “go ahead” and I told him the only word that summed it up and he rolled his eyes. “See….see!” I said…”See!” <\/p>\n
He chuckled. I kinda chuckled. He said it was all good. That he wasn’t mad. That anything that led to a line like “this is a wonderful beginning to a greater life” couldn’t be that bad…and he’s right. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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