{"id":3446,"date":"2005-07-09T23:39:48","date_gmt":"2005-07-09T23:39:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.kimiko-dreams.com\/items\/date\/2005\/07\/09\/focusing\/"},"modified":"2005-07-09T23:39:48","modified_gmt":"2005-07-09T23:39:48","slug":"focusing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/kimiko-dreams-com.local\/2005\/07\/09\/focusing\/","title":{"rendered":"Focusing&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>You may notice (or not) a change in my header. I went from &ldquo;illusive lucidity&rdquo; to &ldquo;it hurts to be beautiful&rdquo;. I wanted to find something that summed up why I keep this site, like &ldquo;<a href=\"http:\/\/goodgirl.diary-x.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">if the collar fits<\/a>&rdquo; does for&nbsp;her site. It took me a while to come up with this and I&rsquo;m not totally sure it says it all but it&rsquo;s suppose to sum&nbsp;up that my main goals are to work hard&nbsp;on becoming a better person (in all aspects of my life) and that it&rsquo;s usually not very easy for me to achieve this goal. That this blog is a result of me talking about those things and how I&rsquo;m getting there, etc. It&rsquo;s also something my mom always use to say to me when I complained about how much the tangle in my hair hurt while trying to get them out. Kinda like &ldquo;suck it up and stop complaining&rdquo;.&nbsp;So&hellip;there ya go.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>So far today&hellip;I&rsquo;m pretty proud of myself. I&rsquo;m not going to dwell on how sad it is &lsquo;why&rsquo; I&rsquo;m proud of myself&hellip;I&rsquo;m just going to &ldquo;be&rdquo;. Had to start my count over again today. Part of me is very unhappy about it. Part of me is happy that it happened because I felt like some things got accomplished and figured out. I feel like a blind person who&rsquo;s walking through a house they&rsquo;ve lived in all their life but is SURE someone moved all the furniture.<\/p>\n<p>Some of the things I&rsquo;m proud of:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>waking up from taking a nap<\/li>\n<li>working out for 15 mins when I was only striving for 10<\/li>\n<li>having a sucessful talk about some hard thing without loosing my tone<\/li>\n<li>starting some very important things in order to accomplish some of my goals<\/li>\n<li>figuring the fuck out what my main goal is<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Today&rsquo;s applicable lyrics. For those of you who like to try and figure out why the lyrics I put up apply to my life, all I&rsquo;m going to say is keep in mind that the POV&rsquo;s shift in this song for me.<\/p>\n<p>This is how a heart breaks &ndash; Rob Thomas<\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t you wanna go for a ride<br \/>Just keep your hands inside<br \/>And make the most out of life<br \/>Now don&#8217;t you take it for granted<\/p>\n<p>Life is like a mean machine<br \/>It made a mess outta me<br \/>It left me caught between<br \/>Like an angry dream I was stranded<\/p>\n<p>And I&#8217;m steady but I&#8217;m starting to shake<br \/>And I don&#8217;t know how much more I can take<\/p>\n<p>This is it now<br \/>Everybody get down<br \/>This is all I can take<br \/>This is how a heart breaks<br \/>You take a hit now you feel it break down<br \/>Make you stay wide awake<br \/>This is how a heart breaks<\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t you wanna go for a ride<br \/>Down to the other side<br \/>Feels so good you could cry<br \/>Now won&#8217;t you do what I told you<br \/>I remember when you used to be shy<br \/>Yeah, once we were so fine<br \/>You and I why you gotta make it so hard on me<\/p>\n<p>And I&#8217;m sorry but it&#8217;s not a mistake<br \/>And I&#8217;m running but you&#8217;re getting away<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;re not the best thing that I knew<br \/>Never was never cared too much<br \/>For all this hanging around<br \/>It&#8217;s just the same thing all the time<br \/>Never get what I want<br \/>Never get too close to the end of the line<br \/>You&#8217;re just the same thing that I knew back before the time<br \/>When I was only for you<\/p>\n<p>This is it now<br \/>Everybody get down<br \/>This is all I can take<br \/>This is how a heart breaks<br \/>You take a hit now you feel it break down<br \/>Make you stay wide awake<br \/>This is how a heart breaks<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You may notice (or not) a change in my header. I went from &ldquo;illusive lucidity&rdquo; to &ldquo;it hurts to be beautiful&rdquo;. I wanted to find something that summed up why I keep this site, like &ldquo;if the collar fits&rdquo; does for&nbsp;her site. It took me a while to come up with this and I&rsquo;m not [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,10],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/kimiko-dreams-com.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3446"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/kimiko-dreams-com.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/kimiko-dreams-com.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kimiko-dreams-com.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kimiko-dreams-com.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3446"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/kimiko-dreams-com.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3446\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/kimiko-dreams-com.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3446"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kimiko-dreams-com.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3446"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/kimiko-dreams-com.local\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3446"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}