I have only ever had two moments of regret in my life. One of them was when I had to leave my dog behind to move here. Another one was how badly I handled my breakup with my first boyfriend. I believe I’ve added another one to the list and while this is going to be very cryptic I felt the need to write about it.
I think back on a situation that happened not to long ago and the thought of it makes me cringe. I was too needy, to insecure, to in doubt about my self worth. While I condemn myself for a lot of things…I look at the situation in question and tell myself…I wasn’t the only one to blame. That the actions of other people didn’t help matters. That maybe if some things had been a little different…perhaps I would have acted better. I suppose it doesn’t matter.
I care to much about what people think. It’s something I’m learning to over-come….in all situations. I’ve tried to look at this regret and analyze things…realize that those who matter most…will look at what happened not put full blame on one person. Will realize that if anything…my most important goal in life is to make myself a better person. But again…I can’t help but cringe at the thought of things. Wish that most of them never happened.
I’ll get over it. I’ve already started looking ahead and only now and then look back. I will probably always cringe when I think about some things…but just like the first two regrets…I suppose eventually they will be a dull ache…not a head hanging chastisement of myself.