Ok well this sucks…

I felt like a fucking executioner earlier. I went with Daddy’s aunt to take Becky (the second of their two cats…Samantha died about a month ago) to the vet. Before we even got her in the carrier it was clear that no one intended on bringing this cat back. She’d been losing weight and it was pretty clear that she was sick in some sense because her eyes were cloudy but to just take the cat down without anyone even asking bothered me alot.

When the vet came in to give her the injection I just mentioned I wished I knew what was wrong with her and right after she gave Becky the sedative she checked. She had a large mass in her abdomen and while I’m not happy she was sick and possibly in pain, I am glad that putting her to sleep was not unreasonable. The sedation itself looked like it killed her. I don’t remember my other cat’s looking like she did after that first shot. Oh well….I cried for her and told her in my head I was sorry. I kneeled down after the sedative so she could see me…hopefully she didn’t feel like she was alone. God this sucks.

I told girlie I loved her alot when I got home. It’s not my cat so I’m not distraught like I probably would be if it was girlie, but if I think to much it makes me cry and I doubt I’ll be jumping for joy much today. A distraction would be nice.