Ug…I had so much to say and now that I’m here it’s like….I have no idea. Today’s big even was me helping teach karate. I’m really glad I went. I ended up teaching the full adult class. I’ve said it before…but it’s always so strange being so confident in those situations. Sensei even watched me run two rounds and never took me off the floor or stopped me or anything. So that was actually really boosting for me. ๐ I guess I just never think that the guys in the novice adult class will respect me. Though several always ask if I’m staying to teach as if they are hoping I’ll stay. Me and my lack of self confidence *rolling eyes*
I’ve been less then confident with the whole self-esteem and relationship thing. Not Daddy or Tat but my extra-curricular activities. Things are a little funky at the moment and it leaves me kinda wondering where I stand and what’s going on and what I should do. It’s all so confusing.
I’m still hoping to go into the LGBT tomorrow night. Hopefully I can still go and hopefully it’ll be fun.
God everything I want to say….seems…unsayable. Ug! I’m ok…really.
“i’m intelligent. i’m a good person. and gosh darnit…..people like me.”
Is that shit really suppose to work?