Sometimes, you realize you were so horribly wrong about something it makes you want to crawl under a rock in shame. I never commented much on what happened to my first try at having a bf/fwb. One day he was here. The next he wasn’t. It was my intention not to mention details or tell my side, or whatever because I didn’t want it to be a he said/she said kinda thing. I didn’t want people I’d been introduced to to think I was trying to start something.
Aside from how caught up I got in the concept of having a boyfriend and the dizzing neediness that came with that time period there’s only one thing I regret more about that period of time, and that’s that the other person wasn’t completely upfront and honest with me when he realized he didn’t want to continue. So much of me looking like an ass could have been avoided if there had only been honesty.
Obviously something happened that made me apparently feel the need to cryptically talk about this. I got nosey and saw that he’s got a gf now. I’m happy for him. Everyone deserves someone special for themselves. What I’m not happy with is all those comments that were stated to me that totally contradict him ‘having’ a gf as an excuse to leave.
I think one of the hardest things to do as a human is break a connection with another person, espeically if you’ve shared intimacy or had feelings of some kind with them.
Still…there are a lot of things I wish I could do over and at the same time know that I needed to do them the way they happened to be able to learn. It sucks…bigtime. But that’s part of the game I guess.