My urge was NOT to write this evening. I’ve felt off all day. Like a big ball of nervous (bad) energy. I went to Power Yoga this morning. I love yoga and I’m usually very good at it. But my head pounded through most of it, I couldn’t stretch like I normally do and I only had a little of the balance I normally have. It was…unhappy. Glad I went but not as cool as I’d have liked it to be.
I ran around the rest of the day and had moments of being so into what I was doing that I let go of the concern of anxiety. I found a new domain to replace crystalprogramming. The Crystal idea was a failure so I’ll go a different road. I think meditations might be better. I know alot of my keen customers are likely to prefer methods to relax and focus then a rock to hold that they aren’t sure if they “feel” anything from.
After I got Daddy and Tat out of the house I went to a cardio class. The power yoga was good for stretching and some strength but I needed actual cardio too today. I was fairly excited about going cause I went in on a class a week ago and it was fun. I picked up the steps pretty easily and I felt good and confident in the class. But tonight I felt like a cow dancing among flamingos. That’s not to say that there weren’t other women there maybe heavier then me. Or women who didn’t have very good rhythm but what I saw in my head vs in the mirror was NOT the same. Last time I felt like I could have been a girl going to audition of an MTV video. This time I felt like a chubby girl who couldn’t snap her fingers and move her feet at the same time. I don’t know what the fuck that was all about. Again…unhappy.
It’s not meant to be a complaining kinda post though that’s what in truth it is. I just have so much anxiety about so many things that it’s really throwing me off and it’s very uncomfortable. It’s not my usual anxiety. That’s why it feels so…weird and uncomfortable.
Tomorrow’s a better day ….right?