What it’s been like

It’s been almost 3 months since you’ve heard from me and for that, I greatly apologize. Part of it was not my doing and part of it was. As always I seem to be apologizing to all of you. Have been since 2007 when I first started my podcast. Motivation doesn’t come easy to me and I’m still trying to get a handle on it.

I’ll start first with why I have been so absent. I was gifted with a change of insurance that has made it possible for me to “possibly” get a handle on my headaches – however it didn’t come without a price. I planned a trip to Kansas to see my father after just receiving my new insurance and well….said insurance could not be persuaded, even with 5 years of documentation, that the medicine I had been taking was necessary to at least give me some relief. So the vetoed my new pain doctors decision to at least let me continue that medication while I visited my father for 3 weeks. That meant only one thing. My third trip through withdrawl from an opiate. Needless to say, I wasn’t happy about it. The visit wasn’t all that I could have wanted, but if I had to go through withdrawl at least I was someplace where daily life wasn’t required of me. With the help of a friend and my family, I pushed through it again and pray that I never have to do it again because it’s not pretty, fun, or even the least bit something I wish to do again.

Since coming back, I have had the opportunity to get a first round of Botox. Receiving it wasn’t pleasant but at least it has lessened the intensity in the places where it was given to me. (Anyone wishing to know more about the experience is welcome to write me as I know there are others out there who might be interested in knowing about it.) I was also able to lay out the bare bones outline for Shattered – the second book in the Guardians series. My mind has been churning over it ever since.

Here is where we come to the truth of the “my fault” part. Anyone who thinks that finishing one book, then heading into your second one is easier – is lying to you. It’s damn scary. It’s almost more scary then contemplating writing your first one.

There are so many things I have wanted to do since I’ve been back. When I get those moments where I can think straight and function – instead of writing this blog post, rebuilding Talechasing into what it use to be, or starting to write Shattered – I’ve cowered. Occasionally, I will do things to take steps to those goals: like commission my Shattered cover, write to an author to be on Talechasing or plan an episode, or stare longingly at my computer as if to think “Oh I’ll write that post explaining….”, but in the end it’s hard (when you are hard on yourself) to count those as steps forward instead of stalled stasis. The one thing I HAVE gotten myself to do is go to the gym. I had no choice really. The Dr said if I didn’t the fatty liver I have could lead to dire consequences if I didn’t loose weight. So, yay for me. ๐Ÿ™‚

Now that I have all that out of the way, I can get to why I sat down and finally wrote this post. Over this period, I have managed to read. Reading is essential to writing. It gives you vocabulary. It teaches you examples on how to write. It gives you dreams of being as great as the book you are writing. It transports you to a place you never want to end.

Today I finished book 4 of a series by Andris Bearย – The Deadly Sins series. I HIGHLY recommend it. They are books I would want to write. Stories that make you fall in love with the characters. Scenes that make you laugh. It’s a paranormal romance series. And I do desperately want to write a paranormal romance series. I just can’t yet. Guardians calls to me to finish it. Raegan has a villain to defeat. Angels to contend with. And growth in her character that must be made real. Readers demand more of it. And that couldn’t make me happier or more scared.

I sit and wonder if I can write an urban fantasy on the order of Anita Blake? Can I make it a full fleshed out arc? Will people like it as much as Awakened. What I do know is that I want to share the journey with you. Not just in reading it…but in writing it. I don’t have that “stumbling around without a clue” feeling I had with the first book. I know now what needs to be done even as I tell myself I need to continue to buy books that tell me how to outline or how to structure a story. And that is my intent with Talechasing. I was to share the journey as I wanted to before but didn’t know how.

I will still read excerpts from uf and pr that I come across. I will still find authors to interview. And I will hopefully do it on a regular basis. There is at least one person who has put their patronage into seeing that it happens. And I greatly thank you for that.ย Antowan Batts, your patreon gift is so much more then I have given you in the past few months and I thank you for holding out for me. I will strive not to disappoint you or anyone else that listens or reads what I have to say while I write Shattered. Believe it or not your funding is helping me be able to do a little more then I was before.

So I will stop rambling and let you go enjoy your books or podcasts and end by telling you that there is more to come. You can also follow along on my picture journey of loosing weight and writing by following me on Instagram:ย https://instagram.com/kimidrms

I encourage your comments here, on instagram or facebook. I look forward to an exciting future that is on the horizon. Your encouragement gives me motivation. Thank you.